My Thoughts Exactly.
Today, as on most days, I was combing the Google Reader to check up on what’s new in my world. Usually, I let the number of posts for each site build up a bit before I dig in to the latest, and I’m always pleasantly surprised to see what I missed. What I found today was no exception.
Milah B. of the Gas’d family (shouts to Imani Waddy) dropped something recently that gave me words to feelings I’ve been having for a minute now — and a lack of words isn’t something I usually have problems with. I’d like to echo her sentiment, but there’s no need; she said it all.
I’m not going to lie… There just isn’t too much to blog on my side of the planet. Right now, I am on a serious verge on going into a major hiatus. Its that time again, folks. Time to rethink, recharge, and revaluate alot of things in my life.
Lately, I find myself at an all time artistic low. I don’t have the energy nor the urge to create and very little around me is inspiring me. I don’t know if it because of my surroundings or because I feed off the energies of other humans. Everytime I turn on the T.V another bullshit reality show it on, degrading women, or stereotyping black people. JUST ALL AROUND BULLSHIT!
The newest mixtapes doesn’t mean anything to me, never have, never will. What Kanye West wore to an award show means nothing to me. I feel like there is more out there than just this normal everyday “blog” shit. Its overrated and now everywhere you look, somebody else has a blog. Someone else trying to keep up with “whats hot or not” But NOBODY seems to be trying to create, and change, or do anything NEW! Gosh, do I hate trends!
I feel like I’m in a bubble, and something out this “bubble” is waiting for me, but I just can’t seem to grasp onto it just yet because I haven’t completed something else in my life. We are so taught to think linear. You know, after you graduate high school, you pick a career and go to college, after you graduate college, you get a job. After you’ve made enough money, you have kids, and so on and so forth. But as an individual, I have trained myself to think in a slopes, in a upward motion. But something is holding me back from my increase.
Its almost like God has put me in this limbo of neutrality and I’m just here waiting. Waiting for my break, waiting for my time. I know this person and that person, but name calling means NOTHING if you’re not doing that shit yourself! Its frustrating. Because as an artist, I want to create, I want to be inspired, I want to inspire others. However, I have a feeling that something is holding me back.
So, forgive the slackness. Hopefully, my friends will hold it down. In the mean time, I’ll be in the lab cooking up some real medicine for ya’ll. I’m out to save lives.
I know what SOME of you are thinking: “Haven’t we been here before? Damn, you JUST dropped the 12 Minute Mixtape after a long ass hiatus.” I get it. I’d be thinking the same thing.
Still, a true story is a true story. And unlike Milah, I’m NOT sorry.
What do you think?
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Aww that’s my little homie
August 2nd, 2008 at 12:13 pm
i feel the same way!
August 13th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
See, but herein lies the “problem” with our generation … WAITING. Expecting inspiration to be handed to us, or come from something outside of ourselves. There may be things that trigger inspiration within us, but the inspiration is a product of our own, and when outside stimuli is lacking in regards to lighting our internal inspiration, we must either deal, or decide to step up and create our own inspiration.
“Its almost like God has put me in this limbo of neutrality and I’m just here waiting. Waiting for my break, waiting for my time. I know this person and that person, but name calling means NOTHING if you’re not doing that shit yourself! Its frustrating. Because as an artist, I want to create, I want to be inspired, I want to inspire others. However, I have a feeling that something is holding me back.”
There are SO many things I could say about the above, but there isn’t time to break it all apart (I actually want to go out, explore the world, and create something - if even just a moment of peace - today!). Thus I’ll just say this:
The only thing holding ANYONE back is themselves. Oh sure, I know there are economic, social, and factors otherwise that can make achieving what we desire difficult and often times seem impossible, but those factors should not deter one from doing everything in their power to move forward. Looking at the circumstances and standing daunted is, to some, a sign of weakness. The truly successful people I see are those that see the challenges, and choose to forge ahead regardless. They refuse to accept things as they are, instead reinventing as many wheels as they need to in order to change, or circumvent, the obstacles in their way. It is these types of people that inspire others, that bring about lasting change, and that shape the world’s future. I cannot recall the last time that I was moved to action by someone that chose to b*tch about their own lack of action, and blame it on those things they find to be below par with their own supposed goals, ideals, and beliefs. So here are a few thoughts:
**STOP WATCHING TV.**
Step out into the real world instead of lamenting about reality TV and the like. (Oh, and stop exposing yourself to things you find appalling, i.e. said TV shows, blogs about “what’s hot,” etc.)
**STOP BLOGGING AND GO OUTSIDE.**
If you don’t realize that there are endless things going on in our world to discuss and explore our emotions about, how they affect our personal lives, and how we can personally affect the issues, then, well, not really sure what sort of miracle you’re looking for to spark some sort of creative genius in you. We live in tumultuous times. Every day a new realization hits me about the world around me.
**STOP JUDGING.**
To complain about the content of what others are creating (and though their form or method of creation may be different than yours) is completely counterproductive to growth. We all find joy and connection in different places - for some of us it IS fashion (perhaps including what Kanye wore…), for others it is music (and mixed tapes have a place in this…), and for others countless other avenues. To each his own, and for his own reasons.
**STOP WHINING.**
Period. Get up, get out, and do something.
IN CLOSING…
From John Mayer’s “Waiting On the World to Change”:
Now we see everything that’s going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don’t have the means
To rise above and beat it
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
…
It’s hard to beat the system
When we’re standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
Which, frankly, is BULLSH*T. I get pissed off every time I hear that song, and I got pissed off reading your posting. I don’t know what is really holding you, or Milah B. back, and I certainly can’t judge your situation or lack of action, but take a serious step outside of yourself and think about your excuses and why you’re making them. We all owe it to ourselves to do this, try to understand why we’re holding ourselves back, and then MOVE FORWARD.